Small wine harvest and other horrors

Fellow Wine Lovers,

Words I thought I’d never write are just dripping off my fingertips: “England beat Brazil 3-1 to make it to the World Cup Final”. The fact that I am talking about the under-17 age group gives us much hope for the future, I’m sure it’ll be ultimately misplaced, but for the moment we’re very happy with “England beat Brazil 3-1 to make it to the World Cup Final”!

A few years ago Alex wrote in these very pages about the creeping insidiousness of a mysterious American conglomerate TorT Inc. (trading here as Trick or Treat UK Ltd). Using sugar based snacks they had become one of the most successful CAPERS (Cash Allowance from Parents’ Removal specialists). In order to keep you all well abreast of events, we felt it was time to check on their activities again. What we have discovered is, quite frankly, a bit alarming.

Pumpkins this year are fewer in number but larger in size, and most will again be used to hide part of the doorstep whilst handily up-lighting that cobweb on the front door. Not so many will be made into soup, curry or pie yet weirdly quite a few may end up in your latte!

Using the very latest in cyber technology (frightgeist.withgoogle), we thought we’d check out the Halloween Costume Charts. We were somewhat surprised to find this year’s most searched costume was Wonder Woman (someone really should take Harvey’s computer away), we were disappointed that more traditional Halloween themes of Zombie (No.9), Vampire (No.19) and Skeleton (No.22) seem to be falling out of fashion. We did wonder why 1980’s at No. 32 was more popular than the Devil at No. 35 but thought best not to delve too deeply, whilst at the same time, feeling slightly sorry for the 1990’s which could only manage 48th position.

There is some good news however, previously reported merger talks between TorT Inc. and The Fawkes Foundation have foundered. Magic Fountains will not be replaced by Sherbet Fountains for this year at least, more news next week…

A week or two ago we mentioned that France had a small harvest this year, and indeed it appears that this year’s worldwide wine harvest is the lowest in 50 years. Several newspapers reported the news in their own inimitable styles.

The Sun: “We’re heading for a wine shortage and boozy Brits are already freaking out!”

The Evening Standard: “UK could face prosecco shortage as European wine production hits 50 year low.”

The Weather Channel: “Bad weather to cause wine production slump”.

We’d just mention that so far we see no reason to freak out as an 8% fall in production is unlikely to cause a Prosecco shortage and we can always drink Cava instead! If all else fails we’ll get Alex to release some from his cellar. I think it’s the one he calls Cellar V.

Tasting this weekend

White wise, we thought we’d go with Boeckel Pinot Blanc Reserve 2015 (£13.79). It’s one of those whites that flies under the radar a little but is just delicious with some fish pie, a creamy mushroom risotto or a simple vegetable frittata.

In the red corner we’ll be having a guzzle on Le Malbec 2014 (£11.99). Hailing from the southwest of France this is perhaps a little lighter than its Argentinean counterparts and lovely with some wild boar sausages, we reckon.


Good news folks, that hour that went off on its travels in the spring is finally returning this weekend, dirty washing in tow no doubt.

Yes indeed it’s time for the clocks to go back this weekend so you can *stay up to watch the end of the late movie/ *throw a few more shapes on the dancefloor/ *enjoy the extra sleep. *Delete as appropriate

Don’t forget to charge or get new batteries for the torch and bike lights.


Comments are closed.