Predictions are a mugs game – discuss

Fellow Wine Lovers,
And so we bid a fond farewell to 2014. Some people take this is a time of reflection, a mental checklist of success and failure over the last 8760 hours if you will. However many of us, blinded by the post-Christmas haze, find it difficult to recall what happened before the 22nd December with any real clarity. For us reflection doesn’t take nearly so long and is easily measured in success levels first established by Oliver Reed, Georgie Best and Man Against Food. Oh, and the bathroom scales.
So with all this in mind, we are going to look ahead to 2015 and assess what the year may have in store…
January
• Temperatures soar in Park Vintners as we discover hidden vents in the wall between us and the dry cleaners
• Wayne & Alex both carry on running but delight in the fact that they’re not doing the marathon, so don’t have to run in the snow
• Did we mention snow? Arthur Road will experience delays similar to those in the Alps this week. Mulled Wine sales will quadruple. (Note to self – buy mulling spices…)
• Torrential rain makes Andy Murray feel very at home in the Australian Open, before exiting in the second round
• Park Vintners offer their, now world famous, 6 for 5 deal throughout the month
• Park Vintners Wine School starts its 6 week semester 28th January – spaces still available
February
• Secret admirers will express their admiration secretly on the 14th
• Also on the 14th Italy beat England for the first time ever, at HQ and dreams of a World Cup lie flaccid in the Twickenham mud. (Italy will go on to beat New Zealand in the quarter finals before losing to eventual winners Argentina in the semis)
• Cricket World Cup starts – spot betting scandals ensue
March
• Lent takes hold – abstinence is King, boredom is Queen and grumpiness is the Crown Prince
April
• April 5th is egg-stremely egg-citing
• London Marathon – watch it on telly with a glass of Champagne
• Cheltenham Festival – Guinness sales in the Cotswolds hit new highs
May
• ‘Margate hotter than Malaga’ headlines hit the newsstands as floods develop in Ottery St Mary
• Giro d’Italia helps those chubby cyclists shed a few pounds
June
• NZ are here to play some crucket whilst we nip to Holland to catch up on the Beach Volleyball World Cup
July
• Tennis and cricket – Wimbledon & The Ashes – what could go wrong here?
August
• Wimbledon Park empties as summer officially opens in Devon & Cornwall
• Wayne sweeps the shop a lot and, in a fit of boredom, goes the ‘full paleo’ and eats his wife
September
• Everybody back, tanned and lovely, ready to pile the pounds back on whilst at the pub watching the Rugby World Cup
• Wayne finally gets the chance to go on holiday now that the school holidays are over
October
• People start talking about Christmas
November
• Wayne makes bail in time for Christmas (see August) and is told to stick to Brussels Sprouts and to avoid all other Belgian dishes
• For the millionth year in a row we try to find a Red Burgundy for Christmas consumption that costs less than a house on the Grid
• We fail
December
• PV celebrates its 5th Birthday – a frenzy of bubbles and biltong ensue and much fun is had
• And now here we are at New Years Eve – I wonder what will happen next year?!
So, plenty to look forward to over the next 12 months. However if you’re looking for more immediate gratification why not pop in today and taste a couple of treats with us – we’ve opened the Neudorf Chardonnay Nelson 2011 (£24.99) from the legendary New Zealand estate and from across the ditch, another legend of a wine – Geoff Merrill McLaren Vale Shiraz 2006 (£29.99) both because we fancied finishing the year up with some nice wine!
Only a few more hours to go before Jools grinds through the gears and brings 2014 to a close – boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing – HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

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