Fellow Wine Lovers,
Nine quintillion, two hundred and twenty-three quadrillion, three hundred and seventy-two trillion, thirty-six billion, eight hundred and fifty-four million, seven hundred and seventy-five thousand, eight hundred and eight – 9,223,372,036,854,775,808.
That’s a mighty big number and is in no way linked to the fact that it was Wayne’s birthday earlier this week as that would just be a cheap joke.
Nor is it the scientifically predicted age that Madonna will stop making boobs to attract attention.
And it isn’t even the odds of Mario Balotelli re-reading and vetting a tweet before he sends it.
No, it’s a number invented by You Tube as a maximum for viewings of a single clip. They had to do this because a certain clip had exceeded their previous limit and so it had to be re-pegged. Any ideas on the clip in question? Kim Kardashian and her attempt to break the internet? Cats being cute? The naked man climbing through a baler and emerging as a hay bale with arms and legs? No, none of these I’m afraid. It was in fact Gangnam Style. Yep, a song with a strange fetish dance involving galloping. Are we really in a better place now than we were pre-world wide web?
Gone in 60 Seconds
Can’t stop the Block, you can’t stop the Block, Can’t stop the Block, you can’t stop the Block, Can’t stop the Block, you can’t stop the Block, Can’t stop the Block, you can’t stop…
By skilfully remixing cheeky, ambient-techno-rock beat combo, Apollo 440’s well known 1999 #10 hit Stop the Rock, I hope to have come up with a good enough strapline to remind you that you really can’t stop the Block. It may go out of commission for a while as stocks run low and vintages finish but it has its own potent life force that overcomes all adversity and allows it to return harder, better, faster and stronger than before. I am of course referring to the South African legend in its own lunchtime, THE CHOCOLATE BLOCK. (Cue applause)
Now the cheering has subsided I can confirm that we have indeed lassoed ourselves a reasonable chunk of the 2013 vintage. For those of you as yet unversed in this wine, here are a few bullet points:
• Produced by Boekenhoutskloof which, in their own words, ‘is the magical little wine farm where we raise the bar (and some of our more conventional neighbour’s eyebrows) when it comes to creating some of the country’s finest wines.’
• They are based in Franschhoek, South Africa, a wine travellers dream destination.
• It’s a blend, perhaps not for the faint-hearted, this vintage is 71% Syrah, 12% Cabernet Sauvignon, 11% Grenache, 5% Cinsault, 1% Viognier. Wumf!
• Not only does it come in normal bottle size but we also have a limited quantity of magnums should there be requirement to share.
• It’s £23.99 per bottle and £50 for the oh-so-sexy magnum.
• We also offer 6 bottles for £120, which is the same deal we have done for the last two years and is still set up on the till so we might as well stick with it!
• There is no chocolate in it because that would be just weird.
• And wrong.
It won’t all be gone in 60 seconds but it is a popular wine, so don’t be backward in coming forward!
It’s a Wonderful Life
As it’s now December and we are all gearing up for the frenzy of festivities, we like to do our bit to oil the ‘wheels’ and ensure they are all kept well oiled – so it’s a great excuse for us to open a few more wines over the weekend to help this.
So what are we going to open?
M B Talmard Macon Uchizy 2013, Burgundy, France (£14.99)
Mallory and Benjamin produce just one cuvée of Macon each year from their 20 hectares just north of the Macon hills. Richer and riper than many, it has a generous weight, subtle, almost tropical fruit with aromas of melon, ripe pear, lemon oil and almonds and rich, bready character on the palate from extended lees aging and a long fresh, finish with hints of apple. A good all-rounder, from start to finish.
Mentoste Rioja Reserva 2004, Rioja, Spain (£17.49)
We first came across this wine in its 2001 incarnation and were smitten. This follow on vintage we loved too. Partly for only making it again in another stonkingly good vintage, but also because it was so delicious again. The plummy, cherry fruits are nicely accented by the wood spicing, and the tannins fruit and acidity are all really well integrated. A glassful of joy!
Pauletts Trillians Sparkling Red NV, Clare Valley (£14.49)
76% Shiraz, 24% Cabernet Sauvignon. Pauletts have been known for producing wines of finesse and elegance since their first vintage in 1983 (Neil had spent 10 odd years at Penfold’s before buying this property) This extraordinary speciality red sparkling wine is a cool climate blend from vines situated on the Trillians Hills in Clare Valley. It is a deep ruby colour with a lively mousse yet the savoury and plum aromas and subtle tannins give a lasting impression of elegance and well balanced restraint.
Soave Capitel Tenda Tedeschi 2013, Veneto, Italy (£12.99)
Ricardo Tedeschi is a man who takes his wines very seriously. His vineyards are all on slopes, aiding the ripeness of his grapes. He even leaves a few bunches to be a little overripe – adding them to the main blend improves the texture and complexity, he tells me. Whatever he does, it works for me – this is richer than many, with some orchard fruit notes and a creamy touch of almond alongside the minerality one expects from a decent example.
High School Musical
If you’re still struggling to find the perfect gift for your perfect person then perhaps we might be able to help. We’ve all been there with this marvellous person who is witty, engaging, caring and considerate but frankly useless when it comes to the wine list. ‘I’m sure the house white will be fine’ is a well used mantra but it does somewhat limit the excitement your tastebuds get.
So, solve the problem – send them to our wine school! After six weeks they will emerge blearily, having tasted about 60 wines and exercised their palate to its extremes. Rush them to the nearest restaurant and they will now confidently order the Gruner Veltiner or the Nebbiolo and know why they’re doing it. Everyone wins.
If you’d like to know more we have attached details or pop in and have a chat with us and we can show you how it works.
The Old Curiosity Shop
This Saturday is small business Saturday where small businesses around the country will be doing something special to attract your custom (Alex has even had a haircut!).
So please do shop at your local small shops, you’ll find them welcoming and friendly.
Devils Playground
Last up, it’s the Wimbledon Park Primary School Christmas shindig on Sunday from 12 until 3pm.
Alex will be performing his civic duty and serving mulled wine again but he is also threatening to bring some spirits down with him to sample. So if anyone wants to find out why we’re making such a fuss about our new Amaretto then Sunday might be just the time.
What colour’s the King, Alex? The King’s Ginger, Wayne…
Out.